Seriously?

What did I do? I mean, I don't remember anything totally outrageous that I did to get in trouble. But dang.......I am SURE in trouble! First, anytime I run or even MOVE fast, my mom yells at me. Then, I got caught running through the yard, so she scooped me up and made me sit on her lap the WHOLE time she was outside. Everyone else got to run, and play, and scream at the people walking by. Not me. Like a total goober, I had to be the loser stuck on his MOMMY's lap. How degrading. She started kissing on me and saying "Now Lou Lou, you have to stay quiet for two months and not be active cause you are sick." Listen lady, a few kisses and treats doesn't make up for the fact that you are treating me like a prisoner!! You even yelled at me when my friends came over tonight! I was just glad to see them.........but Mom still yelled "No Louie!"
This mess isn't going to work. I can't be treated like I am a juvenile delinquent when I don't even know what I did wrong. Word on the street is that this mess is going to last two months? No way. I may have to make a break for it. How ashamed would YOU feel if you were sitting on your own deck, in your own yard, but had a collar and leash attached?
HU-MILIATING.
Love you guys-
Lou